at the end.

This is probably my last post as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Let me tell you, 18 months have gone by faster than I could have ever imagined. Well, looking back on it it's gone warp speed. I feel like two weeks ago I was waving good-bye to my mom at the airport. But if you'd asked me how fast it was going 16 months ago, I would have told you that this day would never come because it still felt impossibly far away.

These past 18 months have been full of a lifetime of experiences. The good kind, the bad kind, the laugh-til-you-cry kind, the learning kind, the heart-breaking kind, the tears-of-joy kind, the frustrating kind, the friendship making kind, the spirit-filled kind, the tender mercies kind, the hidden blessings kind. But at the end, they've all been blessings.

If there is one over arching theme to what I've learned in the last year and a half, it's that

we have a Heavenly Father who loves each and every single one of His children.

No matter who we think we are or what we may have done, we are never too far away from the love of God. No one can take that love away from us. We can try to say that it doesn't exist, but we're only kidding ourselves. He loves us. And I'm living proof. 

I'm proof that he gives us infinite second chances through the Atonement of His son--our Savior, Jesus Christ.

He wants us to return to live with Him. So he has a perfect plan for all of us. It's individual. And it's prefect. We don't have to doubt. We just have to have faith. And trust. Because He knows us perfectly. He knows our weaknesses and faults, our triumphs and successes, our talents and abilities.

And as we keep His commandments, He has so many more blessings in store for us than we can even imagine.

I love the Lord. And I've fallen in love with His work.

I'm eternally indebted to Him for this opportunity I've had to serve him.

today's thought.

"Sometimes we let our thoughts of tomorrow take up too much of today. 

Daydreaming of the past and longing for the future may provide comfort but will not take the place of living in the present. 

This is the day of our opportunity, 

and we must grasp it."

-President Thomas S. Monson

Oh how I love our wonderful prophet and his words of pure wisdom.
Last week I was thinking a lot about the future. and my particular, very near future consisted of a place that I wasn't really sure that I needed to be.
So I worried about it.
a lot.
And quite frankly, I wasted a lot of time.
and energy.
on something that didn't need to even be worried about.
Because I love it here.
And because I wouldn't be here if Heavenly Father didn't need me to be.
Isn't it great how he just knows so much more than we do?

If there's something I've learned these last 16 months, it's that Heavenly Father's will is always greater than mine. and it's always smarter than mine. and it's always easier and happier than mine in the long run and in the immediate future.
Because He loves us.
more than we'll ever know.
and I love Him.

So take it from me.
If we don't take what our loving Father in Heaven gives us now, and just keep on daydreaming or wishing or waiting for our perfect moment, we miss the best things that life has to offer us. The best things that our Heavenly Father has to offer us.
And those aren't things that I want to miss.

_________________________________________________________________________________

"A veces permitimos que los pensamientos de mañana ocupen mucho del presente. 

El soñar en el pasado y el anhelo por el futuro quizás brinde consuelo, pero no tomará el lugar de vivir en el presente. 

Este es el día de nuestra oportunidad, 

y debemos aprovecharla."

-Presidente Thomas S. Monson

¡Oh, cómo me encanta nuestro profeta maravillosa y sus palabras de sabiduría pura!
La semana pasada estuve pensando mucho en el futuro. y mi futuro inmediato consistió de un lugar que no estaba seguro de que necesitaba estar.
Entonces me preocupaba.
mucho.
Y francamente, perdí mucho tiempo!
y energía.
en algo que no tenía por qué preocuparme.
Porque me encanta estar aquí!
Y porque yo no estaría aquí si nuestro Padre Celestial no necesita que yo este aqui.
¿No es maravilloso cómo El sabe mucho más que nosotros?


Si hay algo que he aprendido en estos últimos 16 meses, es que la voluntad de nuestro Padre Celestial siempre es mayor que la mía. más inteligente que la mía. más fácil y más feliz que la mía en el distante y en el futuro inmediato.
Porque Él nos ama!
más de lo que se sabe!
y yo lo amo!


Entonces creame!
Si no tomamos lo que nuestro amoroso Padre Celestial nos da ahora, y sólo seguimos soñando o deseando o esperando nuestro momento perfecto, perdemos las mejores cosas que la vida tiene para ofrecernos. Las mejores cosas que nuestro Padre Celestial tiene para ofrecernos.
Y esas no son cosas que quiero perder.

"Whatever comes, comes."

Good line right?
I thought so too.
It came in a letter that I received today from my friend Alex.
He was telling me some funny stories about how, more often than not, life seems to take us by surprise. Now these surprises can be good, bad, ugly, exciting, funny, nerve-wracking, sad, happy, beautiful or any other adjective you can think of.

An example:
When I found out that I was coming here to McMinnville, you can bet that I was super surprised! Excited to be going to a town that I've spent the last year hearing nothing but good about, scared that we were both going to be new in the area, sad to leave the members and friends that I had grown to love in Hermitage, nervous for the unknown.

An example:
When I found out that I had been called to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Nashville, Tennessee, I was surprised.
Excited. Nervous. At peace.
When I found out that I was going to be learning Spanish there, the surprise doubled. [And the peace went away..]

An example:
When the spirit told me that I needed to serve a mission, I was surprised. [And reluctant.] It wasn't in the plan. I was supposed to go back to school. I didn't like that surprise. So I took the easy way out-- I didn't listen. I kept on going on with life as if the Spirit hadn't told me anything.

But surprise! Here I am! Full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Some days I think that it would have been easier if I had just kept ignoring those promptings to serve. But then I remember that Heavenly Father is a whole lot smarter than me. He knows what I needed then and He knows what I need now. He knew exactly who I needed to meet and what experiences I needed to have. He knew the person that I was, and He knew that I needed to be

better.

braver.

more humble.

more patient.

more loving.

more accepting.

more Christ-like.

He knew that I needed to be all of these things so that I would one day be accepted into His presence. He knew that I wasn't good enough then, and trust me, I'm still not good enough yet, but if I had never accepted His will in the first place, I wouldn't be the tiny bit closer that I am right now. That's what brings us back to Alex's thought: "Whatever comes, comes." I know that when we accept the plans that Heavely Father has for us we'll also receive the blessings that He has for us.

So I say, "Follow the path that Heavenly Father has for you."

Alex says, "Whatever comes, comes."

And Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, apostle of the Lord, says,

"Come what may, and love it."

I'd say we're in pretty good company :)

expections.

Today Hermana Dodge and I were talking about the expectations we've had over the last few months from the time we sent in mission my papers until now.

I was thinking about how I so thought I knew what I was doing. But at the same time, I had no idea. But I was comforted in the fact that I wasn't only putting in mission papers, I was also putting all of my trust in the Lord.

Thinking about all of this made me think of this pre-mission post:

"i can't even adequately express how excited i am for this. i am so incredibly amazed that heavenly father knows me so well. and he knows the people who live in the tennessee nashville mission and he trusts me enough to go and share his gospel with them. it's overwhelming. not going to lie. but i am so ready. well, maybe not completely. but as ready as i'm going to get by myself. i know that with the lord's help and with a worthy heart and willing hands i can help spread the gospel to my brothers and sisters who are ready to hear it. i'm so stoked. and that's not even a good enough word.
the gospel brings me so much joy. so much more than i ever thought possible. it never ceases to amaze me. and i am so excited to help others come to know our savior and experience the joy that this gospel brings into the lives of those who come to know it's truths.
bring on the next eighteen months."

I wrote this the day after I got my call.

When Hermana Dodge and I were talking this morning, I had already forgotten what I had gained a testimony of. Even if it was only six months ago. I had forgotten to keep all of my trust in the only two people who know me better than I know me--my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I just remembered that this truly is Their work. That the expectations that They have for me and for the people here in Tennessee who need Them in their lives is far greater than anything I could ever begin to imagine.

Expectations are an interesting thing. And I know that there are a whole lot of things that lay in store that I haven't ever thought about before. But it's a good thing to know that if I put my whole heart in His work, and my whole life in His hands, and all my trust in His wisdom that is far greater than mine, I'll be good. We all will. But even more than that, so will the people we meet.

It's amazing how our Heavely Father knows each of us. Individually.

He knows what we need. He knows how to get us there. And He's going to put us in the places and put people in our paths that will give us the best possible shot at godhood.

So I'll end this in the same way I did the last one:

Bring on the next 13 months.